Lullaby Series
by GunBunnyCentral
Summary: Sometimes all you need to sleep is a song...
1. Feels Like Fire

****

Title: Lullaby I - 'Feels Like Fire'  
**Author:** Margaret Brown, aka Andromeda Valentine  
**Fandom:** Mutant X  
**Pairing:** Emma/Shalimar  
**Rating:** PG-13 (It'd be G if they weren't naked. lol)  
**Status:** New (04/23/03); Complete  
**Archive:** Yes to list archives, anyone else please ask first.  
**Feedback:** Yes, please!!  
**E-mail address for feedback:** andromeda_valentine@hotmail.com  
**Series/Sequel:** Part One of the Lullaby series...  
**Other Websites:** Crimson Redd -   
**Disclaimers:** Nope, still not mine - Mutant X belongs to Tribune, and Feels Like Fire belongs to Dido Armstrong and Carlos Santana...

Summary: "I'll never know *what* Shal's fascination with my voice is, but I can't refuse such a romantic gesture."

Notes: The song Emma sings is Feels Like Fire, by Carlos Santana and Dido, off Santana's album Shaman. Many thanks to my good pal Lil for pointing me in its direction...

And brownie points to anyone getting my little injoke...

Warnings: Femmeslash. (Duh... lol)

********************

"Sing for me, baby..."

I just smile down at her, nestled like a sleepy kitten in my arms. A very large, very naked kitten, mind you, but a kitten nonetheless.

"What do you want to hear?" I answer indulgently, smoothing back her hair. I'll never know *what* Shal's fascination with my voice is, but I can't refuse such a romantic gesture.

"Mmm... I don't know - something mellow."

I just chuckle. "What, no Aimee Allen?"

"No, no revolutions..."

Buying time to choose a song, I question her for probably the thousandth time. It's almost a ritual by now...

"What is it with you and wanting me to sing, anyway?" 

"I can smell you, and I can feel you holding me; I can see you, and I can still taste you; I want to be able to hear you, too..."

Her ritual response, that, and it always makes me smile.

The simple warm familiarity of her reply calls a song to mind, one that's never failed to remind me of finally finding my place here with Mutant X, and with her...

Holding her even closer to me, I start singing.

__

"I'm telling you it's over -  
now there's an angel   
holding me,  
my way's easy...

__

Even if you're fallen -  
oh, you're struggling -  
there's still beauty  
in what we do..."

It feels a little sentimental to say so, but she really *is* my guardian angel - I couldn't even count the number of times she's saved me, from evil New Mutants and from myself.

She claims that I save her, too, by keeping her eyes on our mission and by bringing out her better instincts, but I'm not entirely convinced that's a fair trade.

__

"So que sera,  
let's go sailing on...  
There's a wise man  
in every fool...

__

I say come back -  
come in from the cold,  
into the warm.  
I feel like fire,  
guiding you back home  
as darkness falls..."

She's purring now as I sing, and I let her feelings of contentment wash over me.

I've never know the sort of simple acceptance I've found here - my own parents couldn't handle my gifts - and I've certainly never known the sort of warm, ever-present love that radiates from Shal whenever she's near me.

__

"So everyone stands in line,  
'cause they wanna stay alive,  
to wait alone,  
no dog, no bone...

__

And then you find it's over -  
still, it tears your heart  
to slip away  
from the crowd..."

Thankfully, I'll never know what would have become of me without Mutant X, though it's a good guess that I'd probably have spent my life bitter and alone, squandering my gifts working Misses and Petites until the GSA turned up to bring me in to GenomeX.

Strangely, at the time Adam found me, that was what I actually wanted, even though it was killing me inside.

__

"But if you have  
what it takes  
to return to where  
all the world  
knows your name...

__

Then que sera,  
let's go sailing on...  
There's a wise man  
in every fool..."

Now, though, I couldn't imagine not being here, with my surrogate family. And with her...

She had so much faith in me, even when I had no faith in myself, that I couldn't help but believe that Adam was right when he said I had the strength to be a hero. I doubt I'll ever know why it was *her* opinion that mattered so much, but love is just funny that way...

__

"I say come back -  
come in from the cold,  
into the warm.  
I feel like fire,  
guiding you back home  
as darkness falls...

__

I say come home -  
leave it all behind  
and settle down...  
I feel my love  
can give me what I want,  
for all time..."

I'm singing on auto-pilot now, drifting drowsily on the waves of simple happiness moments like these always seem to bring.

I don't even realize I'm projecting until Shal's purr intensifies at the altered chorus, but I'm not surprised, since it always calls up such a strong image of being here like this with her.

__

"So que sera,  
let's go sailing on...  
There's a wise man  
in every fool...

__

I say come back -  
come in from the cold,  
into the warm.  
I feel like fire,  
guiding you back home  
as darkness falls..."

Then Shal's purr ends as abruptly as it started, and I smile as I realize she's drifted off to sleep.

I continue singing softly to myself until sleep claims me too, the last lines of the song an acknowledgement of my gratitude for everything I have...

__

"I say come home -  
leave it all behind  
and settle down...  
I feel my love  
can give me what I want,  
for all time...

__

For all time...

__

I feel like fire..."


	2. In Your Eyes

****

Title: Lullaby II - 'In Your Eyes'  
**Author:** Margaret Brown, aka Andromeda Valentine  
**Fandom:** Mutant X  
**Pairing:** Emma/Shalimar  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Status:** New (04/24/03); Complete  
**Archive:** Yes to list archives, anyone else please ask first.  
**Feedback:** Yes, please!!  
**E-mail address for feedback:** andromeda_valentine@hotmail.com  
**Series/Sequel:** Part Two of the Lullaby series...  
**Other Websites:** Crimson Redd -   
**Disclaimers:** Still not mine - Mutant X belongs to Tribune, and In Your Eyes belongs to Peter Gabriel...

Summary: "She wakes with a gasp, and I'm only milliseconds behind her, tuned as I am to every little sound and movement she makes."

Notes: The song Shal sings is In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel, off his album So. The lyrics are slightly altered to compensate for only one singer...

This is for Lil, because she fell in love with Lullaby I - Feels Like Fire...

Warnings: Femmeslash - like that's anything new. lol

********************

She wakes with a gasp, and I'm only milliseconds behind her, tuned as I am to every little sound and movement she makes.

No one really understands how scary these moments are, when the nightmares are so bad she can't even scream when she wakes from them. These are the times that I find myself in pure awe of her strength.

I couldn't live like that - my mind filled with everyone else's inner demons plus my own - but she embraces her powers, and makes them a part of herself...

Me, I'd be taking a header off the nearest tall building - but, then, that's always been the big difference between us. She's the strong one, and I'm the wild one that can't keep *anything* from getting to me...

Pushing my thoughts aside, I reach over to wrap her in my arms as I murmur soothing nothings in her ear. She clings to me like a lifeline, even after her tears have stopped.

"You wanna talk about it?"

She shakes her head - she never really does - and simply presses closer to me. "Just hold me..."

"Always, baby."

Several moments later, the silence has gotten almost claustrophobic to me, and I start humming softly to break it. She finally relaxes as I continue, so I start singing, very softly - it's about the only thing that completely calms her at times like this.

I don't even consciously choose the song - it just flows out of me, an unconscious reflection of what I feel for her..

__

"Love, I get so lost, sometimes...  
Days pass, and this emptiness fills my heart...  
When I want to run away,  
I drive off in my car -  
but whichever way I go,  
I come back to the place you are..."

Adam says there are certain people who are here to be moral compasses for the rest of us, guiding us when we can't guide ourselves, and if I had to pick any one explanation of what Emma is to me, *that* would be it.

She's my beacon - no matter what's happening, she's there to lead me home, to my family and to myself.

_"All my instincts, they return,  
and the grand facade so soon will burn...  
Without a noise, without my pride,  
I reach out from the inside..."_

I never thought it was in my nature to trust anyone so completely, but she makes it *so* damned easy. It's second nature now to reach out for her - it doesn't even matter whether it's because I'm upset, or because I just want her there to make that good day perfect, she's just *there* and that's how it's supposed to be.

_"In your eyes...  
The light, the heat...  
In your eyes...  
I am complete...  
In your eyes...  
I see the doorway to a thousand churches -  
the resolution of all the fruitless searches...  
Oh, I see the light and the heat...  
Oh, I want to be that complete...  
I want to touch the light, the heat, I see   
in your eyes..."_

She shifts in my arms to look up at me, and I could lose myself in everything I see behind her eyes. Love, trust, hope - *home* - and a thousand other things I could never name.

_"Love, I don't like to see so much pain...  
So much wasted, and this moment keeps slipping away...  
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival.  
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive..."_

Brennan and Jesse tease me about my overprotectiveness - and I know it bothers Emma sometimes, too - but they don't understand. 

Without her, I have nothing. Hell, without her, I *am* nothing - I need her the way I need to eat and breathe.

_"All my instincts, they return,  
and the grand facade so soon will burn...  
Without a noise, without my pride,  
I reach out from the inside..."_

She curls up against me, completely relaxed, and the trust implicit in that almost makes my voice falter. She seems so fragile to me, especially at times like this, and, with my strength and my temper, I could hurt her so easily with a careless gesture.

Never once, though, has she looked at me in fear or shied away from me.

__

"In your eyes...  
In your eyes...  
In your eyes...  
In your eyes..."

Her hand slips up to rest directly over my heart as she lays her head on my chest, and I don't even have to ask why - she likes feeling my heartbeat under her hand and hearing my words vibrate in my chest.

It's a gesture of contentment that lets me know her nightmare is behind her now.

_"In your eyes...  
The light, the heat...  
In your eyes...  
I am complete...  
In your eyes...  
I see the doorway to a thousand churches -  
the resolution of all the fruitless searches...  
Oh, I see the light and the heat...  
Oh, I want to be that complete...  
I want to touch the light, the heat, I see   
in your eyes..."_

When I look down again, I see that those gorgeous blue eyes are closed and she's finally drifted back off to sleep.

Certain that she's sleeping peacefully now, I start to drift back off myself, so quickly that the last few words I sing are little more than drowsy and contented murmurs...

__

"In your eyes...  
In your eyes...  
In your eyes..."


End file.
